It's finally here. This is really happening. Today I get a mastectomy.
I have started this post a dozen times. I thought I'd talk about what I did yesterday, what I've been doing this morning, and what I expect to be doing until time to be at the hospital. All that would be just to fill up a post. It doesn't amount to much in terms of how I'm dealing with it emotionally. It's all just busyness and pretty boring.
Instead I will share my Examen from this morning. It was about gratitude. Talking to God about what I'm grateful for. Words can not express my gratitude for my husband. He's a rock, my love, my friend, someone who really gets me. Then, for "everything else." Every person who will read this, I'm thankful for you. For my little dog. For my new home. For my friends. For my knack with decorating (God created creativity, after all). For my ability to write something that anyone would want to read. For my sisters-in-law that are really more like sisters to me. For coloring books. For Dr. D and Dr. N. For my mother-in-law, my mom, really, who is my number one fan. For my job and all my co-workers. For the cars we drive. For our parish priest. For the black coffee I got to drink this morning. For all the pretty rotten things that have happened to me in my life that have shaped who I am.
For the fog outside that is setting the tone for the day. It will burn off and be beautiful later on.
I'm not sure yet when I'll be able to post again. I come home tomorrow evening, and I'm expecting to just need to sleep. But I'll be praying for all of you as I have been. Please do me a favor and leave a comment here with your prayer intentions. When I wake up I'd love to be able to pray for you more specifically!
In the meantime, this:
"Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and God of all encouragement, who encourages us in our every affliction, so that we may be able to encourage those who are in any affliction with the encouragement with which we ourselves are encouraged by God." -- 2 Corinthians 1: 3-4
Hi Polly -
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing your story as it unfolds. You are strong because you hold God close and he will look after you. I recently went through a procedure, not nearly as serious as yours, but my feelings about it all were similar to what you've shared. It's been good for me to relate to you as I felt so alone in my experience. Prayers for you and Bob. If you want to pray for me, then please pray that I can be more accepting of God's plan for my life as it seems to drift further and further away from the life I envisioned for myself. Thank you.
Praying you feel better real soon,
Regina
Thanks for sharing this, Regina. Count on my prayers for you.
DeleteGood morning sweetie. I wish to thank you for the blog. It has helped to u derstand feeling that I have never thought about. You are a strong and faith filled woman. I know God has his as around you and holding your hand as you walk thru this experience. Much love today and always. Many prayers for you and the family. Love u bunches
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ReplyDeleteFor some reason your comment posted twice. This seems to be happening with others as well. Not sure why! Sorry!
DeleteFor some reason your comment posted twice. This seems to be happening with others as well. Not sure why! Sorry!
DeletePolly, You are AMAZING!! I know you may be feeling 'weak', but, you have TREMENDOUS STREGNTH THROUGH CHRIST! Picture yourself resting in HIS arms as you 'count backwards' today. Many are praying for you! And your FAITH and prayers are making a huge difference in many lives!! Talk to you later friend!
ReplyDeleteI woke up thinking and praying for you and have continued throughout the morning. I'm not worried for you -God will take care of you. But this is going to be such a difficult couple of days, couple of weeks....I will continue to pray. As always your prayers are appreciated. Please pray for my special intentions.
ReplyDeleteWe prayed for you at Mass this morning, Polly, and we will keep you in our prayers!
ReplyDeleteMany prayers for you, Polly. You write so beautifully. I look forward to reading more.
ReplyDeleteThinking about you and wondering how you are doing. One step at a time - that is all we have. This moment. And my prayer is that with each step you will be able to keep your eyes on Him and your hand in His. He is with you - even when the fog comes in and you may not see Him. Always feel His hand and heart - you got this! What a roller coaster ride. Praying for strength.
ReplyDeleteThinking about you and wondering how you are doing. One step at a time - that is all we have. This moment. And my prayer is that with each step you will be able to keep your eyes on Him and your hand in His. He is with you - even when the fog comes in and you may not see Him. Always feel His hand and heart - you got this! What a roller coaster ride. Praying for strength.
ReplyDeleteYour faith and strength are an inspiration to me. Thank you for bringing us along.
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