Suddenly, I'm hugging everybody

I have been hugging a lot of people lately. Which is odd.

Very crowded meeting rooms make me twitch. The chairs are often so close together that if every one is filled, I'll be touching the people on either side of me. I start by pushing my chair back out of the line, or make myself really, really small so I'm not touching anyone. I look for the nearest exit and wonder if they'll notice if I belly crawl for the door. You are all inside my bubble, I think. Get out of my bubble. Imagine how comfortable I am in crowded public spaces or airplanes.

If you couldn't guess, I'm not really a hugger. I'm very awkward at it. Do I go around the neck or the waist? Side hug or full front? Sometimes it changes halfway in, then parts bump and it's all so embarrassing. The handshake-turned-hug is like a sneak attack on me. Shudder.

After I found out I had cancer, the hugging started, slowly. Most what's-happening-now conversations ended in hugs. People I hadn't seen for a while who had heard, came to my desk and asked if they could give me a hug. My last day in the office even those who can practically see my bubble came inside it to hug me and tell me they'd pray for me. Sometimes I think I was hugging to comfort the other person. Sometimes it was the two of us clinging together to say, "It will be all right."

The nurse who helped with my biopsy may have been one of the first medical professionals I hugged. After such an intense appointment, and after talking with her afterward, just walking out the door seemed to be too abrupt, and just saying thank you didn't express enough gratitude. So I hugged.

Dr. D came to see me after the surgery. When she was about to leave she asked if she could give me a hug, saying, "You have really been through a lot these past few weeks." I nodded, tearing up. It wasn't a token gesture hug, either, it was the real deal. And it said to me: she sees the dignity and value of the human being that is Polly.

I hugged no less than 4 more people before I left the hospital. For me, that's a lot of hugging in one day.

I keep thinking about Jesus healing touch. Fully human touch, from God himself. Pope Francis said it better than I can, "The Son of God, by becoming flesh, summoned us to the revolution of tenderness.”

I'll still have a pretty big bubble. But I think I'm undergoing a revolution of tenderness. Join me?