Skip to main content

What a week this day has been

"She has good days, and she has bad days."

Bob has used this line frequently in the past few days. At first I felt like it was an oversimplification, and also a line that is used for someone with "health problems," you know, ongoing, lingering, "health problems,"not for me.

But it's true. I've had good days. Yesterday was one. I slept well, woke up without pain, felt positive, made my way through the ADLs (activities of daily living) without much issue. Bob brought me communion. I was able to begin going 6 hours without pain meds, and only used an ice pack a few times. Drainage volume was less, all was right with the world. 

The day before, not so much. Saturday. I opened one eye and knew something was horribly wrong. It was a migraine to beat all migraines. I got downstairs to take some pain pills and Ibuprofen, filled up the water jug and made it back to bed. I won't bore you with the details except to say it was classic -- massive, stabbing pain, light hurt, smells and the thought of food made me nauseous, and moving was out of the question. I spent the entire day this way. Bob brought me a piece of dry toast and sometime around 4 pm I managed to get it down. After that the pain sort of abated and I was able to get out of bed for the first time. Light dinner, back to bed early. We think it was brought on by some chemical smells in the house from some work that we're having done in the basement. Whatever the cause, it came out of the blue and knocked me for a loop.

She has good days, and she has bad days. And she has days that start out fine and somehow just don't really work out. That'd be today. 

It is a shower day, which are usually pretty good. I feel a little more human and even try and make my hair look presentable. I felt fine, really. It wasn't until my mother-in-law stopped over to pick up some meat Bob smoked for a party she's having next weekend that I realized today was slipping. "You look tired," she said. I nodded, realizing for the first time that, yes, I am. I am tired. I shouldn't be. I have spent the rest of the day on the couch watching old, black and white movies. Wanting to write an update. Trying to sleep. Watching the clouds. Wondering what tomorrow is going to be like.

One week ago today was the surgery. It sounds like forever ago, really. A whole week? Where has it gone? Shouldn't I be lots better by now? I'm sure I'm not the first person to think I just need to kick myself in my own butt and get up and vacuum the floor then make Bob a sandwich! 

Reality is, this is going to be what normal looks like for a while. I'm going to be tired. I'm going to have bad days I'm going to have good days -- which are actually worse because those are the days I want to do more but know I shouldn't. 

St. Paul had good days and bad days, too, I am reminded. 2 Corinthians 12:9 says, 
but he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for power is made perfect in weakness.” I will rather boast most gladly of my weaknesses, in order that the power of Christ may dwell with me.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

May I Have a Word: The Case for Saying What We Mean

By a show of hands, how many times have you used these phrases, in conversation, on social media, in email communications, or in chocolate syrup on a pancake? Don’t Judge Right? You Need To Friends, my hand is way up there. Don’t judge me for pointing this out. These are common phrases, and we’ve all used them, right? You need to read on to see why these words have become a problem. Now that I have gotten that out of my system, let me say that I am working hard to eliminate all these very common and seemingly well-meaning words and phrases from my vocabulary. I’m not usually one to wave the banner and try and get people to join me, but this time I think I am. Lately, it feels like we have become very lazy in how we express ourselves. It’s like the shortcut version of actual communication. Verbal texting. But, there is more about these five phrases that has been sticking in my craw. I’ve been binge-watching movie adaptations of Shakespeare's plays. His words demand attention—every l...

Mood Swings, Moisturizer, and Minute Rice: I'm Trying Stuff in January

Most Januarys I spend a little time thinking about how I do things, what products I use, and what I might want to change. It’s not exactly about making “resolutions” because I know some of these changes will stick and some won’t—and that’s okay. I think it’s more a matter of long, cold, dark winter days giving my mind too much time to wander. In the grayest corners of my brain, ideas come and go, and I start experimenting with little things that catch my interest. Most of these experiments are so mundane I don’t even mention them to Bob anymore. I’ve seen that glazed-over look enough to know better. But once in a while, I think maybe some of these things are worth sharing—or at least good for a laugh. So here’s a non-recurring, possibly non-useful list of things I’m trying this year. Mood and Energy Tracker I’ve been thinking about health and wellness lately—hardly surprising in January with all the “New Year New You” messaging out there. It’s like annual mind control. This year I dec...

Wake Up, Jesus: On Frozen Pipes, Panic, and Peace

 Some days it is like Jesus is taking a nap on a cushion in the back of my boat while it is filling up with water and I’m sinking fast. Or it’s just the laundry room floor filling up with water and my hopes are sinking fast. Which happens like clockwork every winter for the last eight years. A frozen drain pipe. Sometimes frozen water pipes. But either way, it ends the same. I’m in tears, knee-deep in wet clothes, and trying to figure out when I will be able to make it to the laundromat. Over the years we developed a strategy for coping with the annual drain pipe freeze. If the weather predicts anything below 20 degrees for more than a day, we shift into Emergency Laundry Mode. That means I do as much laundry as possible in as little time as possible. A completely empty hamper is the goal. If I can get the clothes off our backs into the machine before the cold hits, I do that. When it’s all clean, dry, folded, and put away. I high-five myself. That is until one article of clothing ...