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Wigging out

"So, I've heard that some people on chemo don't lose their hair, is that right?" I asked. Dr. D shook her head, "When it's chemo for breast cancer, you will lose your hair." "All of it? Eyebrows, eyelashes, and the whole nine?" "Yes."

Okay, so it's not the main thing, but it is A thing. For a while I'm going to look like Patrick Stewart, only without eyebrows and eyelashes. So I decided I needed to come up with a strategy that suits me (a self-conscious introvert, the worst). 

The options. 

First up: the cancer hat. This is my nickname for the pre-tied scarves designed just for breast cancer survivors. I think women wear them as a badge of courage. It says, "I'm a fighter and I want you to now it." I admire this a ton.

Cancer hat pros: inexpensive, lots of colors to choose from. Polly cons: everyone who sees you knows you have cancer. Okay I'm already "that" person. I'm the one homeless people, store clerks, and total strangers in public are drawn to. I never, ever mind it. I'm very used to it. It's usually to ask for money (I almost always give them some), tell me they like my shirt/purse/outfit (lots of eye contact, I usually compliment back), or ask me something (directions, advice, help). Do I really need another magnet?

Another way to go is au naturale. Shave it off or let it go naturally and just be bald and beautiful. Another badge of courage. 

Bald and beautiful pros: costs nothing. Polly cons: While I've had super short hair, a pixie style is not the same as scalp style. Yeah, I just can't do it. And, see above about being "that" person. 

Hats. Baseball caps, berets, sun hats, heck, you could even go with a pork pie hat. It's an accessory. It can reflect your personality. You can have some fun with it. 

Hat pros: I have a hat face, and hats are cheap and fun. Polly cons: Unless it's a "mullet hat" the nape and sideburns are still really bald. 

Then... there's the wig. Looks mostly natural. And there are so many options to choose from. 

Wig pros: Looks like hair. Polly cons: A wig that looks like my hair now would be just... sad. I don't have great hair. When I went all-natural and quit coloring it I was hoping for the all natural jackpot, shiny silver. What I got was sort of the human equivalent of brindle. A confusing combo of blonde, ash, brown, and white. Around the same time, my hair started thinning, due partly to stress, and partly to losing quite a bit of weight in a short time. So then I'm left with picking a wig that would be clearly a wig. 

So I thought. And shopped.

I'm not rock solid on this decision yet, but I'm leaning toward: WIGS. Plural. Here's my thinking:
  1. Everyone who knows and loves (or even just likes) me will know it's a wig anyway, so I'm not fooling them
  2. Everyone who doesn't know me doesn't need to know what's happening 
  3. The homeless/store clerk/stranger crowd will still talk to me but it won't be because of cancer
  4. I can have at least a tiny bit of confidence when I leave the house, people won't be staring at me (well at least not for that)
  5. I could have fun with this and try some inexpensive wigs in styles I've always wanted to try but didn't
There's no big spiritual aspect to this, but of course I will pray about what will be spiritually freeing and bring me closer to God. Nothing may (or will, probably) end up the way I think it will. But it will be fun to watch.





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