Will I make the textbook?

So a friend of mine at work told me recently about her sister, who had two different kinds of strokes (is okay now), and her case was included in a textbook written by her doctor. Now that they can laugh about it, she says they think the sister ought to be doing book signings. I suggested that her inscription should be something like, "It could be worse." Ba dum dum.

When my surgeon came in the room she said, "I know I haven't met you yet but I feel like I know you." "Oh?" "Yes, I've been talking to people about you and your case." Shudder. So trying to find my sense of humor I asked, "Am I going to make the textbook?" She chuckled, and to my disappointment she said probably not. That's how my first meeting with Dr. D. started.

After the really brief exam, I went into a small consultation room where Bob and my mom-in-law were waiting. We asked questions, she did her best to answer. The elephant under the rug is: did this cancer start somewhere else and how will we know? I could tell Dr. D. was frustrated -- I think in "typical" breast cancer cases the patient leaves the room with a game plan. In my case it's not that simple. She was going to talk to the oncologist again, and they would determine next steps. Meaning, no game plan that day.  

Only about an hour after leaving the office I got a call from Dr. D. saying that she and the oncologist said surgery first, then chemo (sometimes it starts with chemo), and that I was scheduled for the PET scan and an appointment with him, Dr. N. 

That appointment is this morning. Less than 2 hours from now. 

Fortunately, my Holy Spirit moment from yesterday, along with a 2:00 am Examen and some spiritual reading, and lots of praying has me -- I won't say "looking forward" to it but more like "waiting for God to show up."