Health, wellness, and the benefits of overthinking.

"I think I have my fitness program figured out.," I told him. "Well, almost figured out. I don't want to be too rigid, but I want to be more deliberate about it. I have a couple of goals that seem achievable, but I'm not sure. I'm probably overthinking it." 

"Yes, of course you are," Bob said. "But if that makes you happy, overthink the crap out of it."

True story. I overthink. Then I overthink overthinking. What's wrong with overthinking, I think. Then I think: is overthinking sucking the life out of it? But underthinking may lead to abandoning the whole thing and sitting on the couch with a bag of Cheetos. (I overthought that sentence for quite a while.)

I hit a big number this year. I've been practicing saying it out loud to people, but it still comes out as a question instead of a statement. I'm sixty? I am sixty. Shudder. 

Most of the time I don't feel that age. But this year I decided to go on a mission to keep it that way. The Big Goals are to maintain mobility and endurance, and build strength and increase flexibility. (The Small Goals, short term goals, are to hold forearm plank for 60 seconds without shaking and stand in tree pose for 30 seconds each leg without falling down. Please don't laugh.) In talking to a friend recently we both agreed: at our ages it feels more right to care about staying strong than getting skinny. Solid idea, now let's go to work overthinking the heck out of it.

Before all this, like months before, I started just playing around with a fitness app I have on my phone and streaming on the TV. To be honest it was mostly for my mental health. If something disturbed me during my work day, I'd leave my home office, go in the living room and do a 22 minute beginner's kickboxing routine (no, I didn't picture anyone!) or something like it. Then I just started exploring other options - Pilates, strength building, yoga, stretching, dance cardio, whatever. I even tried Zumba. That is not for me. 

Through this little experience I started narrowing down what I liked, what seemed to work, what was challenging me, and what I wouldn't get bored with. But I was still "browsing." At the same time, I was also browsing content online. 

Working from home I have almost no contact with humans but lots of contact with online content creators. And in my YouTube travels I discovered several that really resonated with me, because they were about something almost-unheard-of in my generation: affirming the dignity of each person and acknowledging that everyone is on their own journey to health and wellbeing, and it's all okay. There is no one "right answer" for me at 60 or for my niece at 22. And there is no one way to look at any age. (Which I wish I had known so much earlier.)

This might not seem like part of the same story, but this revelation led to me clearing the decks on my social media and Pinterest, deleting all the pins and saves and follows that made me feel bad about myself, or set unrealistic or unhealthy expectations. It's not easy but I plan to consume only that content that either teaches me something or affirms me as a person. I just dumped like HALF the pins on my "diet and exercise" board and clicked "hide pin" on anything that promised health or fitness "miracles." Try it, it's very liberating. 

Back to the fitness stuff. And overthinking. There are so many fitness and wellness influencers out there, and most of them that I now follow agree on the basics. But there are also objective standards for health and wellness that are guided by research, set by organizations like the National Institutes of Health. I checked out some articles there and found out that I'm already meeting or exceeding the number of "move minutes" for a person my age to stay healthy. So, that's good, now I can just build on it. 

My Little Plan involves a overall strength-building focus three days a week, a flexibility and core focus three days a week, and one day a week for mobility work and restoration. On top of that I plan to walk a little more, at least try and hit my steps goal.

In my little heart of hearts, I know I will struggle with making this a RULE, and expecting some miraculous results. After all, that's what media and the world has made me believe for basically my whole adult life. This is a hard lesson to unlearn, that I'm a failure if something changes, like I walk a little less, I lift a little less, or eat a little more. 

Which is why I am actively underthinking my overthinking. I know that makes totally no sense, but it feels a little like this. You know how some constellations you can actually see only when you're not looking directly at them? That's how I'm trying to approach this. I'm focusing on it in the periphery, so it's there but not all-consuming. 

This last bit has been the result of watching a bunch of videos by new favorite influencers who say that if you don't enjoy it you won't do it. If it becomes not fun, I'll erase the dry erase board and try something else. 

It's all a journey. I know that is so trite and overused, so let me try some Thesaurus.com action: It's all an adventure, an odyssey, a campaign, a passage, a sojourn, a pilgrimage. I hope we all find this encouragement on our pilgrimage: that we are exactly who God made us to be, our own unique selves. Hopefully, prayerfully, we can accept that person with thanksgiving.