Well, It's Advent (Again): How I'm Trying to Stress Less and Hope More

 

I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again: It's really hard to have Advent right before Christmas. Couldn't Advent be some other time when you're not on a black diamond slope careening toward December 25th?

It’s a joke but not a joke. Most years, I find it hard to balance the penitential and prayerful season of Advent with the shopping, planning, and general chaos that comes with this time of year. It has a tendency to turn my season of hope into a season of hustle.

The point of Advent is not lost on me: it is a season of preparation and anticipation, in which we are waiting in joyful hope for the coming of Christ at Christmas. We are called to focus on the meaning of the Incarnation, the Word made flesh who dwelt among us. But while we are trying to zero in on our Advent journey, we are tormented by the siren song of the seven salad recipes we pinned and which one we are taking to the family carry-in which is happening in less than a week.

As they say, writing is cheaper than therapy, so I’m going to just put five ideas right here for me (and for you) that might help me make this a better Advent (or at least a less stressful one).

1. Simplify gift-giving (as much as you can).

So as not to sound like a total Scrooge, I don’t mean to suggest you trash your entire gift list. That’s probably not practical for most families. But if you can, just scale it back a bit. It might help to solicit support from other family members who could be feeling the same way. Fewer gifts with more meaning seems like a plan most friends and family could get behind.

Our family loves to open presents, but we’ve all realized over the years that making lists of suggestions for each other is a struggle when you don’t really need much (or anything). This year instead we will be doing a kind of gifting game so we’ll have some presents to open but it’s more about having fun. This means less stress for all of us—the best gift is just being together anyway.

When we stop to ask why we are giving gifts, we might find that the “less is more” approach still communicates love, gratitude, and thoughtfulness—but without all the extra frenzy (and expense).

2. Pray with the daily readings.

There is a built-in Advent series that costs you nothing and takes just 5-8 minutes a day. This amazing offering is brought to you by the Catholic church, and it’s the daily Mass readings.

There is so much content out there being pushed for Advent, believe me I know (I write some of it). And it’s all great! If you have chosen your favorite reading plan for Advent, that is awesome. But if you don’t have a plan picked out yet, or if you’re just looking for some guided reading for the season, I suggest the daily readings. You (typically) get an Old Testament reading, a Psalm, and a Gospel.

I just say a quick prayer when I sit down to read them (on my phone using the Universalis app), asking God to speak to me somehow. I keep a little notepad nearby and jot down a verse or words that are meaningful to me for that day. It’s an easy way to keep the Scripture with me all day.

It’s not fancy, there’s no special packaging, and there are no celebrities. But it’s so rich— Scripture full of anticipation, promise, and fulfillment. It’s the ultimate quiet antidote to the noise of the season.

3. Be okay with “enough.”

Many years ago Bob coined a phrase about decorating for Christmas and it perfectly crystallized our feelings about it at the time: I want it to look like Santa Claus threw up in here. Back then, enough was not enough. These days, one tree and a few cherished decorations feel just right. The rest? Optional.

My philosophy of “enough” this time of year extends beyond just the holiday decorating. I want our house to be “clean enough” — spotless is probably not possible with a 9-month-old puppy anyway so why stress about it? I want us to have “enough socializing” to connect with who we need and want to see, but not feel pressured to meet every social expectation. I want to do “enough cooking” to satisfy and delight but not so much that it feels overwhelming. This also means that I show up calm and relaxed, at home, or wherever I go. As I continue to learn to embrace ”enough,” I find I’m freeing myself to focus on what really matters.

4. Give things away

This isn’t the same as giving gifts, but it feels just as good (maybe even better). For me, it’s about sharing what I already have—whether with family or by donating to charity.

Last Thanksgiving, I set out my old vintage tablecloths on the dining tables. Before the day ended, I told everyone I wasn’t putting them back in my drawer and invited them to pick their favorites to take home. Whatever wasn’t claimed, I donated. This year, after a major Christmas decoration purge (which I posted about here), I set aside ornaments I thought family members might like. I put them in a little box, passed it around at Thanksgiving, and let everyone take what they wanted. The rest? Off to charity. I even made a basket of unused “girly” items—like hair accessories, makeup bags, and skincare products—and did the same thing. If no one wanted them, no problem. I already had a plan to donate whatever was left.

What I love about this approach is that it’s like recycling with purpose. These are things I no longer need, but they get a new life with someone else—whether that’s family or a stranger.

Donating during Advent isn’t new, of course, but giving intentionally during this season flexes my generosity muscle. It reminds me to hold possessions loosely and to focus on sharing rather than accumulating.

5. Breathe

This really is the nuttiest time of year. Everything seems to be flying by. People are visibly stressed at stores. It all tends to feel a bit frantic. So my last tip (if these are tips) is to just breathe. I have to remind myself of this all the time. My pre-dawn walks are non-negotiable, but even more so during Advent. So regardless of the temps outside I bundle up and take a 10-minute walk in the cold and dark just so I can look at the stars (and the neighbors’ super cute outside lights), and breathe in and out.

When I come inside, pour my first cup of coffee, and sit down with the daily Mass readings, I feel like my mind and body are in synch. It’s not perfect, but starting my day with a bit of movement, combined with silence and prayer helps me hand over the day’s chaos to God.

I know not everyone has the time or would even want to do a bitter cold walk at 4:45 am (even writing it sounds a little nuts), but whenever or wherever you can find the space and time for calm and quiet, I hope you grab it. God will be there waiting for you.

Closing thought:

Advent isn’t about avoiding stress (I tell myself, frequently); it’s about finding peace in the middle of it. It’s not selfish. It’s not indulgent. It’s about opening my heart to meet God right where I am and letting Him help me let go of what I can’t control.

Pray for me, and I’ll pray for you—that we can all find God’s grace in the chaos and joy in the Advent journey.