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On any given morning, it is my habit to go for about a 10-minute pre-dawn walk outside, starting my day in prayer or at least in gratitude for having woken up. It is usually “rain or dark,” but there are times, like yesterday morning, when it’s coming down in sheets, and I just don’t do it. But since I think it helps me physically and spiritually to move my body and pray before I really start my day, I have an alternate routine that involves my rosary and a mini-trampoline. So that was my choice on December 31, the last day of 2024.
When I got to the intentions of my rosary, I mentally went through the list of things I’ve been praying for off and on for a few months now, but stopped short and thought, since this is the last day of 2024, maybe I should consider something new for 2025. And what came to me was to pray for an increase in the Fruits of the Holy Spirit.
I have asked God to help me increase in these virtues off and on in ‘24, and it was fruitful (rimshot). But life happens and other things seem to pop up as priorities in prayer, so this particular intention got shelved. But I’m dusting it back off and I feel good about it.
It’s definitely not as dramatic as praying for world peace, guidance for leadership in our country, or a cure for cancer, but I think if we earnestly asked for an increase in these nine things, we might see some changes in our little individual worlds that could be dramatic. Or at least at home, at work, and maybe in frustrating grocery store lines.
Paul lists the “works of the flesh” in Galatians 5, calling them “obvious” and boy howdy most of them are. Immorality, impurity, licentiousness, idolatry, sorcery, outbursts of fury, drinking bouts. But some of them are less visibly horrible and more "everyday” horrible like rivalry, jealousy, and selfishness.
Then he says:
In contrast, the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, generosity, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. Against such there is no law. (Gal 5:22-23)
While Paul’s list of works of the flesh is pretty specific, I remembered a little exercise I did a while back on this subject that I found helpful in zeroing in on why these virtues are important for me personally. That was by looking at their antonyms. If these fruits are desirable, what are the undesirable opposites?
Love
The opposite of love may be hate, and I don’t hate anybody, at least I don’t think I do. But antonyms for love also include “dislike” and “not care.” Those hit a lot closer to home. Loving my neighbor in the abstract is one thing, but to truly love is to not be blind to the needs of others—close at hand or far away.
Joy
This one is a challenge for me. I would love to blame my lack of joy on society or even media, but I tend to think it’s more to do with mindset. Misery happens. But also sadness, worry, and general unhappiness. Joy also means delight, wonder, cheer, and comfort and these are things I want more of in my life.
Peace
Coming right alongside joy for me is peace, at least in terms of the challenge of finding it in my life. I find I’m often agitated, upset, or worried—as opposed to feeling harmony or tranquility. Peace also means “accord” and “unity” and as much as I like to think of myself as a peacemaker, most of the time I am just isolated in my world, shutting out the hard work of actually making peace.
Patience
Obviously impatience is patience’s opposite. But the handy thesaurus also offers up these antonyms: resistance, wildness, intolerance. It is like pushing back against the world and everything in it. And, every person in it. The “wildness” strikes a chord because it brings to mind my frequent insistence on having my own way. Quite the opposite of the patient, poised, moderate, and composed person I want to be.
Kindness
I think most of us believe ourselves to be “kind” people. Sweet, sympathetic, tender, courteous, and hospitable. But when I look at some of the antonyms of the word I get a little squirmy: animosity, indifference, intolerance, thoughtlessness. Check, check, check, and check. I have been each of those things, maybe not deliberately but most definitely. Like many of these fruits its opposites point to a turning inward toward myself instead of a focus outward.
Goodness
In my thesaurus exercise this particular fruit of the Spirit challenged me with both the synonyms and the antonyms. Some of the opposites of goodness are corruption, cruelty, meanness, and dishonesty. We are not brought up this way. We are taught as children to not be mean or cruel, to tell the truth, and so on. But goodness also means decency, virtue, and integrity and these are things that seem to have fallen out of favor in our time. To be virtuous person can be seen as priggish and integrity can come off as self-righteousness. But despite the old-fashioned idea of being a “good person” it is something we (or at least I) do long for.
Faithfulness
Like goodness, faithfulness is a bit of an old fashioned notion. To be faithful is to be loyal, dutiful, pious, and truthful. Which all sounds a bit too goody-goody. But noone would want to pursue its opposites: disregard, falseness, or disloyalty. Still, how often have I disregarded the needs of others. How often have I put up a false front to save my own pride. How often have I been disloyal, even subtly. It’s a challenge.
Gentleness
When I get to gentleness I stop and think: I’m generally a kind, tender person, right? I am never hard or rough. Gulp, maybe I can be a little hard on people, particularly when I’m not getting what I want when I want it. Another antonym is imperviouness, and by all means I have been and can be one who is impervious to the suffering of others. After all, I reckon, the world has been pretty impervious to mine. That is a hard, brick wall to have to tear down to get to the gentle me.
Self-Control
I can say no to the cookie. And I am disciplined in a lot of other ways. But before I pat myself on the back and accept the ribbon for self-control, I look at antonyms like rashness, agitation, and instability. My mind and heart can be volatile and unsteady, particularly when I’m under pressure or feel that I’m being challenged. It’s a pride thing. And it undermines my desire to be a dignified, stable person.
My Prayer
Once in Confession, I talked to the priest about my prayer for an increase in the Fruits of the Holy Spirit, and that I was frustrated because I see how often I fall short. The antonym exercise brought this point out even more dramatically. But the priest, rather than just telling me to “do better” or “try harder” raised the most important point of all: you can’t do these things on your own. That is exactly why they are the Fruits of the Spirit, not the fruits of Polly.
These nine virtues describe God himself. He is the definition of each of them, all the synonyms, none of the antonyms. I think this is what we strive for when we attempt to follow Christ’s commandment to “be perfect, just as your heavenly Father is perfect” (Matt 5:48).
Going back to Galatians, Paul says, “Now those who belong to Christ have crucified their flesh with its passions and desires. If we live in the Spirit, let us also follow the Spirit.”
So, my prayer for 2025 is for an increase in the Fruits of the Spirit in my life, which as my priest friend suggested isn’t just trying to muster up these things on my own but to live in the Spirit, to follow the Spirit. When I fall, which I will, to just turn it back over to Him again and again, and keep going.
Will you join me?
Happy New Year, friends.
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